Family portraits. A window through time with the all the cues of a dysfunctional family.

What family wouldn't be complete without their cheesy family portrait placed in the living room? Denim jeans, white button down shirts - or - maybe color themed rather than denim themed. This is what I see from the samples of family portraits from the photographer my family will use to get their picture taken. Head shots, sitting on the ground, mom in the middle, dad with the hand on the shoulder - everyone around mom. So...family-centric. So weird.

I realized a couple of weeks ago that my two sisters and I have hardly more than five pictures together. In fact, I can only think of one picture that has us all together in a portrait type setting and it is hysterical to think of. Setting: Dayton Air Force Museum Date: Early 90's. My sisters and I are sitting on a bench/couch in the waiting area. Erin, the oldest, is looking at the camera with a face full of hatred and annoyance. Me, the middle child, is in the middle slumped into a position looking exhausted with my B-52 bomber baseball hat pulled down over my entire face, and the youngest, Alice, looking content and unsure of what's going on around her. I wish I had a copy of the picture here in Deutschland. THE POINT- we don't have a family picture or sister portrait...but we have this. I think it is as good as any. Even the best of photographers can't erase the faces, gestures, and tension that is shown in family photos. And if there IS such a picture that exists...denim clad individuals with their white button down shirts, I'm pretty this family if full of pod people - either that or they are so repressed with everything they do that it's a joke.

Case in point...Sebastian's family photo proudly displayed at his Grandma's house. Setting: Photography studio. Time: Early 90's. Set up: Mom holding the youngest (Sebastian), the oldest son (Dennis) sitting slightly higher than Sebastian, and Dad above them all... This is a pretty normal seating position that photographers like to arange families in. I guess the only difference in the pictures, other than the people in the pictures, is the expressions and events that are captured by the camera lens:

First. All eyes focus on a young Dennis...hands on knees but obviously not enjoying his time there. Expression on his face: priceless...full of annoyance and I can only IMAGINE how annoyed his parents were to get him to sit there and take the picture. This is coupled by the image of Dad, Herr Kalupa, sitting in a way behind Dennis that looked like he either just popped up to say 'Smile at the damn camera' or he is grabbing Dennis from behind to make him straighten up for sure.

Second. Young Sebastian is in the picture...looking clueless about what exactly is going on. All while his mother sits there with a wide eyed hoping that the picture comes out like the picture she has in her head.

All this adds up to the normal family dysfunction that can be seen in family pictures. All in all, I love it because it makes me guess as to how that day actually went down. Furthermore...although Sebastian was young, I asked him if he could remember that day....he could...and although I wasn't there...I laughed with him like I was there...all because what was captured by the camera is the perfect representation of how his family is.