I met with my friend Danelle the other day for lunch. And with her it is the usual shenanigans. I don't know why crazy things always happen when we're together...maybe the forces of nature comes together like a fantasma of Captain Planet nostalgia, but things always happen.
I meet Danelle at her office and we set out to get Chinese food. Now, first off I don't know why decided to get some shitty over-priced Chinese food (which at 3.50 is probably some of the cheapest Chinese food to get...I'm told) because I made a sandwich and took an apple. Oh well...my mind fickle. I didn't know that it was just a stand on the side of the street. So we get our Chinese food, get a Coke, and now we're going to have some lunch. Or are we......
Danelle is wearing a skirt this day and we can't do the usual squat and eat, so we head off to a park that she knows is nearby. Which is fine by me, I don't really care as long as I can sit somewhere before I head to a corner of the library for the rest of the day. So we walked through and alley that smelt of urine and avoided the rest of the lunchers running to get their egg mayonaise sandwiches and made it to the park.
I took off the rectangular white cardboard lid and laid it face up on the cement directly behind me and begin my feast of a lunch. All is going well, it's a nice day (e.g. not raining) and we're chatting with the usual complaints (I hate UCL, that guy has weird hair, maybe when I grow up I can be an astronaut. etc). When the guy that cleans the park takes my lid. The whole scene was in slow motion. He had an extended stick with a claw on the end of it that you find in those "As seen on TV" stores, and he slyly stuck it behind me and took my lid. In my mind I was going NNNNOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo. Which ended in an auditory (to Danelle).
"That bastard took my lid. I don't want to eat all of this. Now I can't save what I don't eat."
What do I get to console me? Laughed at.
Continuing our chat Danelle gets up to throw something away and sets her Chinese where she was sitting. I wasn't paying attention to anything but the stupid pigeons and their fluff and wondering if I was going to get the bird flu from it. Almost gagging from my neuroses Danelle comes back looking disgusted.
In the calmest and most rational voice staring straight ahead, "The birds just ate my lunch. Tegan, I am disgusted. I can't eat this now. The birds ate my lunch." Laughing hysterically as she throws most of her 3.50 away she comes back and yells, "WHAT IS THAT!" I of course have no idea what she's talking about turn my head from side to side like a cartoon. What was it? Bird crap. I bird crapped on my sweater, on my bag, and in my hair. Disgusting. I hate pigeons. And after this what did I have to look forward to? The library.
In short, pigeons are rats with wings.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
I have never been good at keeping a journal. I have never been good at having a routine and a set time to do things, and to go with that I've never been able to keep up communication via the internet, i.e. keeping an up to date blog like my friend Pieter Reeve is just a ridiculous notion and unrealistic. So my method now is to do it when I feel like it, or when something comes up.
Something has come up.
About a month ago, and I can't believe it's been a month ago, I set off to see Harsi in Germany. Good Ole Duetschland. Being the sweet boyfriend that he is, and being the appropriate time that it was, an Easter card from him to me was sent via the post (yes the post, that weird service that isn't the internet). Well, thanks to Hawkridge's excellent service there was no one on duty to collect the mail while the hardworking people in the Hawkridge took their much needed 3 week long vacation from their grueling laborious job. In this time, God knows what happened. Sinks clogged, lifts stopped working, heaters were stuck in the on position, toilets won't flush and of course, the mail doesn't get collected. If half of the building fell off and sunk to the ground nothing would be done about it during the employees vacations because, DAMMIT, they need their rest. So anyway. What's my point. The point is the mail.
Back to the card that Harsi sent me. He sent it to me before Easter so I would get it for Easter, but alas I didn't receive it until my arrival at Hawkridge with him where I could finally pick it up (because they came back from their vacation 2 days after I left for Duetschland). The card was very sweet but that's not the point of this.
I noticed on the piercing blue envelope that there was no postage. No postage? I do say, how did it come to be delivered without the sufficient funds for the postal service? Well, Occam's Razor, of course it had postage or it wouldn't have been delivered. So the next reason....someone stole the postage stamps off of my letter! Who would do such a thing. It was in my pigeon hole for 2 weeks before I could get it. Also, some time ago, after Christmas, there was a ridiculous note written on someone's letter from someone living at Hawkridge that had to some effect "I collect stamps and if you aren't using them I would like to have them". This is the bastard that stole my postage. I am certain of it.
I can only think of scenarios that allow me to accuse this person to their face.
1) I take the envelope down to the mail room. Scratch out my name and write a note that demands someone to come forward to confess that they have stolen my postage.
----not very effective when I think about it----
2) I make a sign that says, "I am leaving Hawkridge and I have collected throughout my stay letters with postage from different countries. I know that someone living here is an avid stamp collector and if they meet me at such and such a time I will give them my stamps."
Of course this is just a plot to make the THIEF come forward and for me to ask him, "WHY DID YOU TAMPER WITH MY MAIL YOU WHORE? WHO STEALS STAMPS OFF OF OTHER PEOPLE'S ENVELOPES? I DEMAND my Duetschland stamps back"
-----This won't actually take place. But the scenario makes me laugh. But really? Who steals other peoples stamps? And furthermore...who looks through other people's pigeon holes in the hope of finding post from different countries? Answer: Losers.
Something has come up.
About a month ago, and I can't believe it's been a month ago, I set off to see Harsi in Germany. Good Ole Duetschland. Being the sweet boyfriend that he is, and being the appropriate time that it was, an Easter card from him to me was sent via the post (yes the post, that weird service that isn't the internet). Well, thanks to Hawkridge's excellent service there was no one on duty to collect the mail while the hardworking people in the Hawkridge took their much needed 3 week long vacation from their grueling laborious job. In this time, God knows what happened. Sinks clogged, lifts stopped working, heaters were stuck in the on position, toilets won't flush and of course, the mail doesn't get collected. If half of the building fell off and sunk to the ground nothing would be done about it during the employees vacations because, DAMMIT, they need their rest. So anyway. What's my point. The point is the mail.
Back to the card that Harsi sent me. He sent it to me before Easter so I would get it for Easter, but alas I didn't receive it until my arrival at Hawkridge with him where I could finally pick it up (because they came back from their vacation 2 days after I left for Duetschland). The card was very sweet but that's not the point of this.
I noticed on the piercing blue envelope that there was no postage. No postage? I do say, how did it come to be delivered without the sufficient funds for the postal service? Well, Occam's Razor, of course it had postage or it wouldn't have been delivered. So the next reason....someone stole the postage stamps off of my letter! Who would do such a thing. It was in my pigeon hole for 2 weeks before I could get it. Also, some time ago, after Christmas, there was a ridiculous note written on someone's letter from someone living at Hawkridge that had to some effect "I collect stamps and if you aren't using them I would like to have them". This is the bastard that stole my postage. I am certain of it.
I can only think of scenarios that allow me to accuse this person to their face.
1) I take the envelope down to the mail room. Scratch out my name and write a note that demands someone to come forward to confess that they have stolen my postage.
----not very effective when I think about it----
2) I make a sign that says, "I am leaving Hawkridge and I have collected throughout my stay letters with postage from different countries. I know that someone living here is an avid stamp collector and if they meet me at such and such a time I will give them my stamps."
Of course this is just a plot to make the THIEF come forward and for me to ask him, "WHY DID YOU TAMPER WITH MY MAIL YOU WHORE? WHO STEALS STAMPS OFF OF OTHER PEOPLE'S ENVELOPES? I DEMAND my Duetschland stamps back"
-----This won't actually take place. But the scenario makes me laugh. But really? Who steals other peoples stamps? And furthermore...who looks through other people's pigeon holes in the hope of finding post from different countries? Answer: Losers.
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